In some ways I guess that we're recovering from depression as soon as we get help. That huge step is the start of the crazy rollercoaster which follows. CBT never worked for me; in the frame of mind I was in , the thought of teaching myself something and dragging myself out of the depths of my hole in order to change my way of thinking was the very, very last thing I desired. I wanted/needed a medical, black-and-white, 'this will sort you out' solution and the only thing that I believed would provide that was medication.
I'm not disregarding CBT or any form of cognitive therapy techniques, in fact I think it probably is the best treatment as it teaches you to be self-sufficient. But being the stubborn mare I am, I stuck with the medication whilst seeing various psychiatrists, counsellors and psychologists. Now, two years on and I am actually in the scariest part of recovery: I'm coming off the medication!
Its been just over one week now and my dosage has been halved. On the whole I am so, so proud. A few wobbles here and there, but I need to think in the frame that this is normal: triggers will upset any human, no matter what your mental health status. Life will never be plain sailing, and if my mood was up all the time then that would probably be more unhealthy! I need to feel emotions or I will be inhuman.
So, yay me! My rollercoaster seems to be slowing down for now and I am feeling very clear headed about it all.
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